He is always there

Before we moved to Japan, I told my husband that I would not "put up with" Japanese work hours.  He brought this up while going through the job acceptance process and was reassured the company keeps "American working hours."  This means, when my husband isn't traveling for business, and barring a random meeting or team dinner here and there, he eats breakfast each morning with our son and is home to eat dinner with us by 6:30 pm.  

I love having my husband home with us.  I'm even more happy when he works from home.  He sets up his laptop on the dining table and focuses on his work.  He can take a few minutes, when his schedule allows, to pick up our son from school or discuss something over a cup of tea.  If he wraps up early, he will often times start the rice for dinner.

While I am so happy to be together, I have to be careful about who I tell about this.  Many families I know have dads that barely ever see their wife and kids.  They might have breakfast with them or leave before the kids get out of bed.  They always stay at work late into the night, often times catching the last train home after midnight.  It is common for business men that are also fathers to only see their kids one or two days a week.  So, describing my husband's work hours can look like bragging.    

My husband worked from home today.  So, when he wrapped up work shortly after 5 pm, it was immediately family time.  We had dinner and played board games until our son's bedtime.  At one point, the boys were laughing so hard because they kept landing on the same square again and again.

I feel so blessed, especially in moments like this.

Making miso

Last year I took a miso class where I successfully made miso for the first time in my life.  It was super delicious and my family enjoyed it very much.

I wanted to do it again, but this time using chickpeas instead of soybeans.  Since I'm able to easily get my hands on soybean miso anywhere in Japan, I decided it would be better to make something less traditional.  I've had it before and really enjoyed it.

A friend came over and we got right to work.  I had already cooked the beans.  We just needed to mash them; add aquafava (bean cooking liquid); mix it with the koji and salt; and put it into a fermenting crock.  The whole process took us less than an hour and a half.

The mashed beans mixed with aquafava.

Koji with salt.

Everything mixed together.

Slapping balls together to remove any oxygen.  

We then threw the balls into our containers.

My new fermenting crock, just for making miso!  

The prepped miso sits under some plastic wrap 

and a thick layer of salt to weigh it down.

It was so easy and fun to do with a friend.  We chatted the whole time, which always makes the work go faster.

I really hope it works.  It was much softer than the soybean miso I made last year.  Now I just have to wait 9 months to see if it turned out.

A cookie crumbles

My husband and I have a disagreement regarding some of my purchases in the US.  He thinks I need to simply buy the Japanese version of things instead of buying a ton of things in the US and bringing them back with me each time we go and visit.

One of our biggest contentions is over toothpaste.  I'm not joking.  My husband thinks I am snobby about my preference for American toothpaste.  I think I'm justified in my snobbiness.  And, frankly, they are MY teeth!  So, I will clean them however I want.

Today my son and I got to go to the dentist for our twice yearly cleaning.  We both got two thumbs up and a gold star for having no cavities and good brushing skills.  It always feels great to walk out of that appointment knowing we are taking extra good care of our teeth.

Before we left, I asked Dr. Suzuki for a toothpaste recommendation and told him my hesitation.  He explained that many people feel a difference between American-made toothpaste and Japanese-made toothpaste.  While the formulas are similar, American toothpaste contains a lot more polishing agents which leave teeth feeling more "squeaky clean."  So, there really are reasons why people prefer one over the other.

Since I prefer toothpaste for sensitive teeth, he told me about one brand that is actually Sensodyne toothpaste, a popular American brand, that sells under a different name in Japan.  Same toothpaste, different packaging.

I'm so glad I asked.  Otherwise, I'd never know.  It doesn't mean there won't be toothpaste in my suitcase in the future.  But at least I know what brand to buy it I ever have the need!

As it turns out, I happened to buy that exact toothpaste when I ran out before our last trip to the US.  Makes me laugh to know the one I grabbed was the "right one."

Started and stopped

As promised by the weatherman, it did actually snow last night.  My husband excitedly came downstairs at about 11 pm to report white stuff was falling from the sky.  Like a small child, I felt excitement.  

I have a new appreciation of snow since it fell in Tokyo two years ago.  It was the first time that the world didn't stop when the ground was wrapped in a cold blanket.  In Seattle people freak out.  It is no wonder due to all the hills, reliance on cars for transportation, and fear of the unknown.  Frankly, most people just don't know how to deal with snow in Seattle.

But here, life keeps on going.  Except when you're young.  Then you get a chance for the world to stop and let you play.

So when I saw it falling last night, the child inside me got excited.  I wanted to play in it with my son.

Unfortunately, by the time we woke, the rain had taken all the lovely white stuff and sent it down the drain.  I think I might have been even more disappointed than my son.

We took it in stride.  I walked him to school and then I met a friend for tea.  After school, we went home and spent time together doing nothing much.  We snuggled on the couch while he practiced reading.  I cooked dinner while he played dress up and tried to surprise me with his various costumes.  We made cards for daddy to say thank you for being awesome.

At the end of the day, I read a poem to my son by Fred Rogers titled "It's an Ugly Day".  The last line of the poem is "I'd say we'd made the most of an ugly day."

We didn't get our snow day.  But we did have a nice day together.  Maybe the snow will come a different day.

*********************

It's an Ugly Day

by Fred Rogers

It's an ugly day

Made of mugly gray

It's a sit-down-by-the-fire

And be snuggle day.

It's a cloudy day

And a dowdy day

It's a play-some-Chinese-checkers

Read-out-loud day.

It's a day to cuddle up

With a chocolate cookie

Hook a rug or knit - 

'Cause it's an ugly day

Made of mugly gray

It's a better-wear-your-sweater

And by snuggly day.

If we pop us some corn

And have cinnamon toast

I'd say we'd made the most

Of an ugly day.

Flowers bloom and snow in the forecast

As my son and I walked to the store today, I noticed some tiny daffodils cheering up the gray sky.  They always surprise me with their appearance, as I think January is too early to see these happy little faces.

Tonight we are expecting snow.  Well, I'm not.  I lived in Seattle way too long to ever believe a snow forecast.  I believe it when I see it.

Since we don't have any transportation woes in the snow (my husband takes an underground train to work and I walk my son to school), it doesn't matter to us whether or not it snows.

The only matter is that we had so much fun in the snow two years ago.  Although I understand it is completely out of the norm to have snow like that, I've been secretly wishing for it all winter long.

Goodbye garden

A while ago, my husband and I made the decision not to renew the lease on our pea patch (also known as an allotment or community garden).  Although we both love gardening (me more than him, but he loves homegrown vegetables), it just wasn't working for us.

Between the poor soil conditions, needing to hand water everything (no hoses or sprinklers, only watering cans), and any visit taking at least 30 minutes to 1 hour between the commute and work, it just wasn't producing enough to justify the time or expense.

I also really struggled with figuring out the growing seasons here.  They are so different than Seattle.  If the garden was right outside my door, I might have fought to learn more and find my way.  Laziness won in the battle against summer heat for the past two years.  Each time, I couldn't recover in time to grow a fall crop of anything.  Many people grow year round here, and I couldn't even get a good crop out of any season.

If I were to start again, I would start with a class or club, where everyone works together to learn and produce as a team.  That would ensure that I walked away with a much better understanding of the local growing parameters.

As part of not renewing the lease, we needed to leave it weed free and remove all materials by the end of January.  My husband kept reminding me that this needed to be done.  Knowing that I was running out of time, I asked for his help today.  My husband, son, and I headed over the to the garden for the last time today.  We dug some holes to bury weeds that we chopped up before burring.  The new person won't have access to it until March 1, so it has plenty of time to break down before they start planting.  We also removed all the bamboo support poles we had sticking out of the ground.

We found a couple mole crickets while working today.

I will miss having the garden and all of its possibilities.  I typically find so much joy working in the garden, as it is a place to leave my worries and concentrate on the gifts that nature provides.  But now it is time for me to find a different avenue to that joy.  I'm sure it is out there.  I just need to find it.

A most normal day

When I woke up this morning, I didn't have plans.  I had a list of chores and things to do, but nothing too exciting.  

My sweet husband and son brought me breakfast in bed and then we did some chores.  

The laundry is a never ending task, as are the dishes.  The hardwood floors need daily attention.  It doesn't take much time, but everything has to be done regularly.  

Since we didn't have lots to do, I took the time to whip up more yuzu honey and ponzu.  We go through so much of these that I try to make as much as I can!

We needed to go shopping, so after a very slow start, we rode our bikes to Shimachu (a cross between Home Depot and Fred Meyer) to pick up some supplies for a future project and then to the grocery store.

Once home, my husband whipped up a batch of takoyaki.  My son had a lot of fun pretending we owned and operated a restaurant selling takoyaki during dinner.  

It was a very normal day that passed by in a blink.  And it was a very wonderful day.

Would you eat that?

My son and I play a lot of games as we walk around town.  "Guess the animal" involves giving 2 hints describing an animal, getting 2 guesses, and going back and forth until the guesser guesses correctly.  It keeps him entertained and often facilitates discussions between mother and son.

Our newest game is "would you eat that" where we make up recipes and ask the other person if it sounds appetizing.  Depending on the mood, this game can get pretty gross or it can be super interesting.  I personally try to squeeze bugs into many of my offerings, which is hysterical to my 6 year old.

Of course, sometimes this game becomes a bit too real when we see something truly unique in a shop or restaurant.  I often eat things that I'm not 100% sure what there are because I can't read labels and descriptive labels.  But when I read a label and still lift my eyebrows in surprise, that is something that could be game-worthy.

Recently, I stopped at a bakery and spotted "Weiner Tortilla (Teriyaki)".  Eyebrows fully engaged, I offered it to my son.  He quickly passed saying "nope.  I don't want it."

So the question remains, would you eat it?

If you don't find it, make it

There are a lot of things I miss about the US - especially food!  Some of the things I miss, I've been able to find.  For example, when I was pinning for rhubarb, my favorite vegetable shop owner was able to find some for me.  When I thought I was never going to see Greek food again, my husband found an amazing restaurant for us to enjoy.

Sometimes, I just go without.  I stock up when I go to the US.  My best friend makes me green enchiladas with the most mouthwatering sauce made with tomatillos and poblanos.  I buy copious quantities of snacks and spices that I have never found here.

Whenever I can, I pull up my bootstraps and just make it myself.  I've brought several jars of peanut butter, but have not branched out to other nut butters.  We used to buy all different varieties.  Cashew, sunflower seed, hazelnut, and almond would grace our shelves.  We loved to use the grinders at the natural food stores to get the freshest possible nut butters.  Oh, it was so delicious!

Even though we thoroughly enjoy our peanut butter, I needed some variety.  Since the only choices in Japan are sugar-ladened products that have more sugar than nuts, I decided to just make it myself.

On a recent trip to Costco with a friend, I grabbed a bag of raw almonds.  The recipe is pure and simple - roast 4 cups of almonds in the oven at 190°C/350°F for 10 minutes, let cool, and then blend until it reaches the desired consistency.

When I was explaining the process to my friend, she asked when would I add the sugar.  To her, it seemed strange that I wouldn't sweeten it.  But to me, a purist, I don't want anything in my nut butters other than nuts.

It may not seem like much when you can just go to the store and pick up a jar.  But when that store is an ocean away, it is worth the extra effort.  And, frankly, it tasted so good, I might just always make my own from now on.

A package makes any day brighter

When my doorbell rang at dinnertime this evening, I was not expecting anyone.  It was the postman.  He had a package for me.  The postman never leaves a box on my doorstep.  Instead they always deliver to a person.  I wasn't expecting anything, so I was a tad confused.  But it was my name on the address label.

As soon as I saw the return address, I became very excited.  We had sent some friends a package last year simply because they were living abroad and we know how hard it can be at times.  A message or gift from a loved one brings such joy.

When I sent the box of goodies, I wasn't expecting a package back.  So it was a super thrilling to receive the unexpected gift.

Inside was a bunch of Germany candy.  My son's eyes practically popped out of his head.  He unpacked the box one item at a time, staring intently at each item.  I'm sure he was trying to figure out how he could get me to let him eat as much as he wanted in a single sitting.  Either that, or he was trying to figure out what each one would taste like.

We are so grateful for this box of joy (and sugar).  It is so uplifting, even when we're doing pretty good.

Beware in Nara

When we were in Nara a couple of weeks ago, we visited the famous Todai-Ji Temple.  People go to the Buddhist Temple to see the huge Buddha statue and the historic building (that has been rebuilt several times).

It is located in the middle of Nara Park, a lovely park filled with beautiful sights and tons of deer.  Vendors have booths all over selling crackers for people to feed the deer.  Over time, the deer have gotten more and more aggressive.

While it makes many people laugh to have deer come and nibble on their purses and take crackers from their hands, it is too much for others.  Our son decided to not feed the deer, especially after seeing this sign.

While it is neat to see all the deer wandering around the park, it is a bit overwhelming as well.

Keep alert

For over 20 years now, we've been hearing the same announcements at the airport - if you see an unattended bag, report it.  There are signs on various types of public transportation, including buses, trains, light rail, and so forth.  Although it always makes me a bit sad, it reminds me to keep alert for things that don't belong.

Today I saw a sign unlike any I had seen before.  It contained a game within the announcement where people find 10 bombs hidden in the cityscape.

I guess it was eye catching, because it definitely caught my attention.  I felt like it went a bit too far.  But I'm guessing people are paying less and less attention to these notices.  But the need for them hasn't gone away - even in Japan.  As the sense of community in the world decreases, so does the paying attention to one's surroundings.  If you don't stop and chat with your neighbors, how will you tell when something is amiss?

Breakfast of champions

For the most part, Japan is not really into breakfast foods.  Traditionally, breakfast is leftover miso soup and rice.  For those that grew up on western breakfasts of cereal, pancakes, and eggs, a bit of soup and rice just doesn't fulfill the dreams of an epic breakfast.

These days, it is common for Japanese people to enjoy a slice of thick white bread with jam for breakfast.

While I desire to have filling breakfasts, I also want to eat something different all the time.

When we were living in the states, we loved going out for breakfast on weekend mornings.  We would drive across town looking for amazing omelets, pancakes, and, my most favorite, biscuits and gravy.  Although I miss these fun starts to a Saturday or Sunday, I know it is just not part of the culture here.  Japan has a lot of offer, but their breakfast fare is much to be desired.

On Saturday morning, my husband surprised me by taking me and our son out for breakfast to a restaurant in Ikebukuro (before our randoseru purchasing adventure).  I didn't ask questions.  I just followed him as he lead us through the streets.  After all, I don't think a hard boiled egg and toast is something to get excited about.

But when we arrived, I was taken aback.  Eggs, a restaurant from Brooklyn, was an homage to classic American breakfasts.  Omelets, pancakes, and biscuits and gravy were waiting for us to enjoy.  I could have cried.  I didn't realize how much I was missing it until the moment I was sitting there waiting for my food to arrive.  I was overcome with craving that would quickly be satisfied.

Until my food arrived, I happily distracted myself with a cup of tea from the tea bar and my son entertained himself by drawing on the paper tablecloth.

When our orders arrived, my son was overjoyed with his pancakes and "dessert" toppings of sautéed apples and ice cream.  My husband was thrilled with his eggs, toast, hashbrowns, and salad.  But when my breakfast arrived, I found myself raising my eyebrows.

My husband and I finally decided that the restaurant had "Japan-ified" the biscuits and gravy.  Instead of fluffy biscuits served on a plate with thick, creamy gravy, the dish was biscuits in a sausage cream soup.  Although that may not be a very appetizing description, it actually was pretty tasty.  It was just a bit different that what I was expecting.

Going to enjoy an American breakfast was a complete surprise.  It was beyond sweet of my husband to research and find it for us to enjoy.  Little bits of home make life here so much easier.  It is like a little recharge to my batteries.

One expensive backpack

The time had finally come to make the big purchase.  A friend told me about a very nice shop in town having a sale.  My family got out of the house bright and early to catch the train to Ikebukuro.  We had a bag to buy.

When 6 year old's head off to elementary school in Japan, they do it with a randoseru (ran-dough-se-rue) on their back.  

The shop opens at 10 am.  We arrived shortly after it opened and headed to the second floor.  That's where they put all the clearance randoseru at this store.  

First floor showroom

Second floor outlet

The pickings were slim, but that is how it is when you don't want to pay full price.  Downstairs there were randoseru that cost over ¥100,000/$900.  But upstairs we could get a deal.

After looking at what they had, my son picked a black randoseru with light blue accents.  It is traditional, with a touch of flair.  And my son likes it.  

My husband was relieved to pay only ¥40,000/$360.  It seems strange to be thankful for that, but when the original price is twice as much, you count your blessings where you can.  We appreciated the fact that the bag comes with a 6 year warranty and is top quality.  What we don't appreciate is that this is a required expense.  It would be nice to just buy a Jansport backpack, but it isn't done here.  

Baked good gratitute

Whenever I am invited to a potluck or something similar, I have always been the person that makes something.  When I was working in an office, I was "that person" that would bake and bring it in to share.  It has always brought me joy.

Over time, it has become the norm to bring something store bought to gatherings.  This isn't just a new norm in Japan, but in the US and many other countries as well.  But it isn't my style.  I rarely pick up a treat from the store to share, but it has been known to happen depending on my schedule.

When I pull out my container of deliciousness, it is always fun to see people's reactions.  My favorite thing about bringing something homemade to an event in Japan is the universal reaction of absolute surprise and gratitude.  My husband told me it is considered good manners in Japan to have this reaction.  I don't care where it comes from.  When I've taken the time to bake, it is wonderful to feel it is appreciated.

Today I attended the kindergarten parent's choir's New Years party.  It was basically the moms (no dads in the group) having lunch together.  After people finished their bento lunches, I pulled out a container of my homemade hojicha chocolate chip cookies.  They were met with amazement that I had made them myself, as well as rave reviews.

It has taken a lot of testing to get the recipe just right.  It makes me laugh to see the page of notes that I kept for reviews after each batch while getting the right balance of bitter tea leaves with sweet chocolate.  Notes about increasing this and reducing that, trying this method or that one based on reading various methods, helped me to figure it all out.  It also took me a while to get used to baking cookies in my little oven.  Not all ovens cook the same way!  After I don't know how long, I finally realized that I couldn't put dough in the corners of my baking sheet, because those don't bake as quickly as the rest of the oven.  So, I'd have a 7 cookies fully baked and 4 that were still raw in the middles!  Surrendering myself to having to bake more trays, but everything being done at the same time took some acceptance on my part.

I will continue to make these cookies and share them as often as I can.  After all, who doesn't like a little praise once in a while?

*******************

Hojicha Chocolate Chip Cookies*
makes 36 cookies

240 grams all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp hojicha (roasted green tea)
1 tsp baking soda
200 grams butter
88 grams white sugar
100 grams brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
2 cups chocolate chips (Nestle or Ghirardelli, bittersweet or dark)
1 cup walnuts (toasted to bring out flavor)

1. Put flour, salt, and hojicha into the food processor (a coffee grinder works best, and a mortar and pestle is also great).  Process until fine and you don't see any large bits of tea leaves.
2. Add baking soda to flour mixture, lightly mix.
3. In a separate bowl, cream butter until smooth.
4. Add white sugar and mix until smooth.  Then add brown sugar and mix.
5. Beat in vanilla, then one egg at a time until combined.
6. Combine wet and dry ingredients.
7. Mix in chocolate chips and walnuts.
8. Bake 1 tbsp. balls of dough at 190°C/375°F for 9-11 minutes until no longer glossy on the top.
9. Let cool on the baking sheet for 3-5 minutes before transferring them to a cooling rack.

*Japanese butter comes in 200 gram packages, which is smaller than the American standard of 1 cup by almost 2 tablespoons (25 grams of butter is 1.8 tbsp).  If using American sized butter, increase the butter to 1 cup and increase flour to 270 grams or 2.25 cups.

Fear of doctors

Just imagine for a moment that you are having a medical emergency.  Chest pains.  A broken bone.  Whatever it is, you need medical attention and fast.  Then imagine that your doctor speaks another language and you can't convey what ails you beyond pointing and playing a guessing game.

Even when and if you are able to get your primary complaint taken care of, how do you ask questions?  How do you make sure you are doing the proper aftercare?  Do you need to go back for a follow up appointment?

Any time I even consider consulting a medical professional about anything, these questions come to mind.  It is a huge concern for me, to the point I have turned into the mom saying "be careful" repeatedly to my kid even though I used to say "trust your body" and "listen to yourself."

Of course, there are lots of medical professionals in Japan that do speak English.  But I don't always have knowledge of them.  And just because they report themselves as being able to speak English, doesn't always mean we can freely communicate.  When someone speaks to me in very hesitant English, I choose my words carefully.  I often have questions that go unanswered because I don't want to press them or make them feel even more uncomfortable than they already are.

I understand this is my problem and I just need to learn better Japanese.  But it is also a very valid fear.

I am always so grateful to find medical professionals that speak (even just a little) English.  And I am very, very lucky that my husband goes out of his way to help me out with taking me to doctors appointments whenever he can.

Nevertheless, I find myself procrastinating on making regular health checkup appointments based on this fear.  These appointments are all about communication and making sure everything is alright.  Since passing the two year mark of residency, I can no longer just wait for returning to America for complete checkups for me and my family.  But I want to be able to talk freely and ask about anything that comes to mind.

I'm fine if my husband has to take time off of work to take our son to the doctor.  After all, that is what I always did when I was a working mother.  It is part of the job description of a parent.  But, I don't want him to have to do the same thing for me.  It goes beyond my comfort zone of independence.

With enough research, I hope I am able to find a medical professional that I feel totally comfortable with for myself and my family.  Wish me luck.

ID before buying

Although they are becoming more and more rare, one can still find alcohol in vending machines every once in a great while.  When you do see one, you better not forget your id.  The machines in public places (not those on private property, like at resorts) have machines to check IDs.

Of course, it can't be just any ID.  It has to be a Japanese driver's license.  Finally, there is a reason for me to have a Japanese driver's license!  I knew there would be a reason for me to get it.

Mud in the winter

I have taken my son to the Nerima Children's Forest (better known as Kodomonomori) several times in the warmer months of the year.  But today we decided to see what it was like in the winter.  Truth be told, we are having an extremely mild winter.  In fact, I'm very nervous about next summer's bug population because it has been so warm!  So, it wasn't like we were heading out into the tundra for a bit of play time.  Today reached a high of 12°C/54°F.  So, we put on some layers and headed out the door.

My son, knowing the destination, was beside himself with joy.  He LOVES going to the mud park.  As soon as I parked my bike, my son hopped off and ran into the park.  He wanted to build something.  The staff gave him a box with hammers, saws, nails, and so forth.  He beat foot over to the construction area and went to town.  Will a little assistance from me with hammering, he built a bird house.

He was so proud of his birdhouse.  He wanted to put it to good use.  So, he took it over to a staff member.  They quickly agreed to put it up in a tree.  My son selected the tree and climbed right up (under my supervision) while the staff person grabbed some rope.  It made his heart soar to see his creation being put up for use in the tree.

As this was going on, it occurred to me that this was a place of "yes."  The staff listened to the kids and helped them to play and do things on their terms.  I've always heard this about mud parks, but to see it in action was great.

Up next, my son wanted to get into the mud.  With a look of determination, he went exploring.  The previous weekend, some elementary school children had dug huge holes in the packed mud.  It was almost as if the deep holes were calling his name.  Soon, he determined that he needed to dig a tunnel between two of the holes.  His mind was set.

He got to task and even roped in a couple other people into helping him.  For hours he dug and dug.  He demonstrated determination and focus that was admirable.  And, boy, did he get dirty!  But, of course, isn't that the point.

The mud park is a special place in winter.  It is a different version of magic for both kids and their parents.  There is so much creativity and space to explore and just be.  No rules of confinement or restrictions.  Just good old fashioned fun.

He eventually completed the tunnel.  The look of success and joy on his face was priceless.

He then spent the next half hour crawling through it again and again.  He invited lots of other kids to join in the joy.  Watching him made me so happy that we braved the mud and decided to get dirty.