Thanks, but I'll take the long way

The park moms are planning a day trip to a water park.  It sounds like something my son would enjoy so I am planning on joining the fun.  It would take us an hour and 15 minutes to take the train to the water park, or less than 30 minutes to drive.  So, one of the moms organized a carpool, as many families don't own cars. 

As soon as I knew who would be driving my son and me, I reached out to the driver.  I needed to confirm that there would be room for my son's car seat to be installed in her car.  Any time my son gets into a car, he has to ride in a car seat.  It is a family rule.  Safety first.  When we went house hunting in Japan, he rode in a car seat we bought in Japan even though he hated it.  When we preplanned using a taxi, my husband carried that car seat and used a locker in the train station.  We ended up bringing our car seat from the US just to simplify our trips there.  I've received a couple looks, but I don't care.  It is important to me. 

Photo found on: amazon.com

The park mom didn't have room for his seat because she keeps her backseat laid out flat so her girls can nap in the car whenever they want or need.  Although it made me think back to family trips when I was a kid, often sleeping on the floor of my mom's van on a road trip, it wasn't okay with me to have my son do the same.

Japan did not have car seat laws until April 2000.  For the past 18 years, children age 6 and under are required to ride in a car seat.  There are recommendations as to what type of seat, but the law only states a child must ride in a car seat.  The penalty for breaking this law is... a verbal warning and the possibility of loosing one point on your driver's license.  (It's super complicated, but basically: when you receive 6 points your license will be suspended for 30 days.  Points can disappear after 1 year as long as you don't keep accruing points.)

When I lived in Japan in 2002/2003, it was not uncommon for me to see parents holding babies in their arms in the front seat of the car.  I regularly watched children playing in the back seat, completely unrestrained.  I still see this frequently.  It is also still common place for women to buckle themselves into taxis and simply wear their babies in front carriers, like an Ergo or sling.  I watch with my American eyes in horror, terrified for the possibility of an accident.

When I became a mother, I suddenly understood the importance of car seats more than I ever had before.  My son is the most precious person in my world.  The thought of him getting injured puts a lump in my throat and sends chills down my spine.  I cannot fathom getting into a car and not making him as safe as possible. 

I would like to note that I am the mom that never child proofed her house.  My laid back son didn't need the restraints and I felt perfectly fine not locking anything up.  But in a car, I am not in control.  I don't have the ability to stop another vehicle from careening into mine, no matter how defensive of a driver I am.  I just wanted to point this out to say I'm not a safety fanatic, but there are certain things that rise above others.

I have had more than one person say to me "you weren't restrained in a car when you were a kid and you turned out just fine."  Yes I did.  Thank goodness.  But not everyone was that lucky.  The child death rate in the US in 1987 by a vehicle in motion was 4 times what it was in 2017.  Due to current car seat laws in the US and much safer car seats, more children are surviving car accidents.  I'm not even talking about less injuries, I'm talking about life.  A 2014 study in vehicle safety in Japan reported 2 out of 3 kids under the age of 6 that were killed in car accidents were not even in car seats. 

Car seats are important (and having them installed correctly is SO IMPORTANT - I've read reports that the Japanese government estimates 60% of car seats are installed incorrectly).

I decided to decline the ride.  My son and I will take the train instead.  I told the mom that in America, we take car seat safety very seriously and that is something that I don't waver on.  I learned a long time ago that me talking about car seat safety in Japan will fall on deaf ears.  For a country that has the reputation for following rules, it is shocking when certain rules are completely disregarded.  My son will always ride in a car seat while in a car no matter what country we are in.  It is just that important to me.