Living separate lives

While on a walk today, my family got to enjoy some later blooming cherry blossoms.  Their bright pink tufts brought a smile to my face.  I took a deep breath and enjoyed the moment.  We were the only people on that street.

Later, I went to the grocery store by myself.  My husband and son stayed home and played Mancala while I braved the potential crowd.  As I grabbed milk to make yogurt, spinach for smoothies, apples for snacks, and eggs to have on hand, I realized there really weren't a ton of people in the store.  It wasn't empty by any stretch of the imagination, but I wasn't having to constantly apologize for my presence or move out of the way.  The lines leading up to the registers were 5 or so people deep, but tape on the floor told people the appropriate distance to leave between customers.  I had elbow room.  I wasn't worried about being trampled or having to stand my ground.

For me, the best thing about social distancing is that I finally have some breathing room in this very crowded city!

As I hurriedly biked back home, trying to get there in time for the English news broadcast, I suddenly had an epiphany.  My friends that are struggling with the loneliness and isolation being thrust upon them was something I chose two and a half years ago.  Since moving to Japan, I have not been able to give my friends and family hugs.  I haven't been able to hold my friend's kids in my arms.  I have not been able to sit and have a cup of tea with them while our kids played together.  My connection with them has been via screens and very rare visits.  I can be sitting in a room full of people and still feel incredibly lonely here.

I have a specific time allotted each day to talk on the phone.  While it's not the same as face-to-face, it does help.

I have been having a great time with my son being home.  But this has come with a lot of practice.  When we first moved here, I was with my son 24/7 for 7 months.  Over time, we found a rhythm and get along most of the time.  The same goes for my husband working from home.  We worked out most of the kinks a long time ago.

Don't get me wrong.  Covid-19 scares me.  The seriousness of this disease is so crazy.  But there are some things that make me pause and reflect.  I have been so lonely for my loved ones for so long that the loneliness from social isolation isn't the hardest part for me.  It is pretty standard for living abroad.  Now if we could only figure out a way to deal with all the scary aspects, I'd be a bit better balanced about everything going on.