Negative Nelly

My husband, son, and I met some friends from the US for dinner.  They were stopping in Tokyo for just 3 days on a tour of Japan with another couple.  My husband researched and found a (mostly) gluten-free restaurant in Roppongi, a hipster salad bar named .Raw (dot raw), for us to have dinner together.

It is a small restaurant featuring a salad bar, hot food bar, soup, and deli items.  I'm always looking for more vegetables to put on my plate and this place filled a void I have been missing.  Salads are not typically meals in Japan.  But this restaurant featured them in all their glory by offering over 6 types of lettuce/greens and an array of toppings.  I loved the sprouted beans and quinoa for protein, as well as all the fresh made salad dressings.  The hot food bar had a pasta salad (not gluten free), ratatouille, a medley of sautéed mushrooms, and a couple other options. 

While we sat enjoying our amazing salads and tons of fresh vegetables, someone asked me how life was in Tokyo.  I found myself being very frank about how difficult life is in Tokyo.  It is incredibly crowded and overwhelming.  I get tired and grumpy of having so many hurdles.  I miss my chickens and garden and house and neighbors.  I miss my favorite grocery stores and parks and understanding labels.  For some reason I felt comfortable enough to let my guard down and tell it like it is.

At some point, I apologized for being a Negative Nelly.  They all shook their heads and said they understood.  I don't think I droned on too long about the near panic attacks on the train or the constant inquiries "where are you from?"  They all understood that living somewhere and visiting somewhere are two totally different things.  My complaints were not going to dampen their spirits.

As we traveled back on the (packed) train, I asked myself if I'm unhappy here.  The answer that came to me is no.  I am happy here.  It is just challenging and I need a break.  It takes a lot of strength and tenacity (and a touch of insanity) living in a foreign country and keeping that up all the time is exhausting.  I'm hitting the point of needing a break from it all.