As is customary, I went out and bought some gifts tonight. In Japan, you do not tip people who have provided a service to you. It is considered rude and is basically saying "you don't earn enough money, so here is some more." There is no tipping at restaurants, or in taxis, or even housekeeping in a hotel. If you really want to honor a job well done or gratitude for wonderful service, you give a gift. Usually an edible gift. So, I walked down the street and bought some traditional Japanese sweets. There are 2 boxes. One for the wonderful front desk staff that have greeted us with smiles, fawned over my son, signed for special mail, and even translated for me during a very confusing delivery. The other box is for housekeeping, who were also so friendly and sweet and took so much work off my plate. These people have helped to make our stay here wonderful and I want them to feel as appreciated as I felt taken care of.
In true Japanese form, the shop where I bought them, wrapped each box and tied a ribbon on the outside. Inside, each item is individually packaged (which normal bugs me, but in this case I appreciate since each person can select what they want from the box). The store clerk put the entire purchase into a bag, but also provided a bag for each box so the gift could be presented in a brand new bag as well. A gift in Japan is not just what is underneath the wrapping paper, it is also the presentation and appearance of the gift in its wrapped state. I sometimes find myself dreading giving a gift to a Japanese person that I have to wrap myself because I feel so much pressure to have it all be perfect. Origami is not just about folding paper into a hat or a crane, it carries over into beautifully presented gifts! Luckily this time the store wrapped it for me and I didn't have to worry about it.
We will give these to the staff tomorrow as we depart.
In addition to our goodbye gifts, I purchased hello gifts as well. Another tradition in Japan is to give gifts to your new neighbors when you are moving in. My husband calls this the "please be nice to us" gift. We chose to give our new neighbors rice crackers from a fancy shop. We bought gifts for the two homes directly next to us and the three homes across the courtyard from us - directly in front and the immediate left and right of that home. In addition to providing a gift, it gives us a chance to introduce ourselves and let them know that we've moved in.
This is such an interesting concept for me. I remember making cookies for new neighbors when I was a kid after I saw they were moving in and had a kid my age. It was a great introduction (and we did end up being friends). One day when I was living in Osaka, a man and woman showed up at my door, gave me rice crackers (in a very nicely wrapped box), bowed several times, said something that I had no clue what was, and left. Luckily, when I called my boyfriend, he was able to explain everything. If I recall correctly, he laughed and said "You must have new neighbors. Don't stomp when you walk in your apartment." I never saw the couple again, but those rice crackers were delicious!
We already gave the hello gifts and met our neighbors, as Monday was a holiday and everyone was home. It seemed like a good time for introductions. They seemed friendly. I'm really trying to be positive, but the truth is, I really miss our neighbors from Seattle so much. We had such a wonderful community and it pains me to be away from them. Hellos and goodbyes often have mixed feelings and I'm right there - all mixed up.
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