Something that I may never understand about Japanese culture is the need to give a gift as thanks for receiving a gift. While some American women and men might have a gift wrapping closet, Japanese women (in particular) have "gift exchange" closets.
Often times when I go to a friend's house I will take a hostess gift - cake, crackers, lotion. Just something little to say thank you for your hospitality. But then they send a different gift home with me!
Yesterday, we gave a small cake (called a castella) to a neighbor whose son has walked our son to school each morning and helped him adjust to elementary school life. It was a small gesture of gratitude to the family. Today, they brought us ice cream that you can only get at a certain shop.
Recently, someone we know had a baby, so we sent a gift of silicone blocks and a stuffed animal with a blanket attached. Today, we received a gift box with dashi (fish broth) inside. Of all people, a new mom should not be worried about sending out thank you gifts! I know lots of moms in the states that struggle with getting out thank you cards and that takes significantly less effort.
And, although we have not attended a Japanese wedding since moving here, those are mind blowing. Guests give cash as their gift. It is standard fare. The bills need to be crisp, new bills and they are gifted inside a special envelope. When the wedding is all over, the guests walk away with huge thank you gifts, often including wine, dishes, cakes, and more. Wedding guests can often be spotted on trains, as they are dressed very formally and carrying around matching gift bags.
When I give a gift, it is simply because I want to give a gift. I don't expect things in return. Sometimes, I even feel uncomfortable receiving a gift for my gift. Maybe some people think I am rude because I don't have a closet full of gifts in case someone gives me something. But it is something that I just cannot get used to.
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