Lunch date

A friend invited me over to her house for lunch today.  It is not very often one receives an invite to someone's home in Japan.  Homes are pretty small, so people usually meet at restaurants or other venues. 

She lives right next to my Japanese school, so it was really easy for me to walk over after class and hang out until it was time to pick up our kids from kindergarten.  We've been friends for almost a year, yet we've never hung out without kids.  Between her 2 kids and my 1, we're always busy.  I was so excited as soon as she asked me if I wanted to come over for lunch.  I think the only person I have hung out with without kids in the past year is my husband (except for international visitors that have stayed at our house).

It was so relaxing and fun to just hang out, assemble our food together, and chat without interruption.  She had prepared spring rolls for us, along with prosciutto sandwiches, salad, and soup.  It was fun to roll the spring rolls as I've always been intimated by the wrappers and have never done it myself.  It was so enjoyable that I think I will do it with my boys at home sometime soon. 

While we were talking, she commented that she wanted me to come over because she realized that I would only live here for one more year.  This made her sad.  She wanted to spend more time together while we are able to do so.  It surprised me to hear this as I had not really considered the end of all these new relationships that I have built.  I have been so desperate to make friends and establish my life here that I didn't think of it as having a limit to it. 

I definitely think it is true that people don't stay connected like they used to.  I am incredibly aware as I scroll through my address book of how long it has been since I've heard from many people.  Writing letters, emails, or staying connected in other ways isn't as common as it used to be and we have been trained to think international phone calls are extremely expensive.  I think we are so used to Facebook status updates (or other forms of little check-ins) that we forget to actually touch base and connect.  It is hard enough when someone lives down the street to stop by and say hello, but when you put an ocean between friends it is much, much harder.

I am not perfect about staying in touch.  I make an effort, but I get busy and wrapped up in things.  I know other people do too.  And I try really hard not to take it personally when I don't hear from people.  However, I am human and fall prey to big feelings when I feel forgotten.

So, I really understand where my lunch date was coming from.  It is emotionally difficult to start a relationship when you don't know if you are even going to be around to watch it grow and bloom.  But does that mean that we won't try?  No.  We are both going to nurture this friendship and watch it become something really amazing. 

I can't wait for our next lunch together.  I hope to make a habit out of it.