Life changes

There are times that I am riding my bike to and from and I suddenly start thinking "is this really my life?"  In the past few months, my world has really changed.  There is a lot of good, but, of course, there are challenges as well.  I always try to remind myself that life is an adventure.  If we stay put, we rust! 

Today I needed to take my son to the doctor to get a flu shot.  I had mentioned to some of the park moms (as I like to call them) that my son needed one.  Whenever in a new environment, it takes time to get our immune system adjusted.  I hadn't been able to find one, but after a couple phone calls they were able to find a doctor that had one. 

After a short discussion, they decided that one of the moms would take us to the doctor's office.  It was nice to just go and not fret about directions or anything else.  Once there, she so kindly stayed and helped translate everything.  I felt so relieved, especially when it came to filling out forms.  For all other appointments, my husband has always been there - doing all the work.  We made it through the appointment without any hiccups.  But afterwards, I couldn't stop thinking about how I didn't do anything!  I just showed up and someone else did all the work.  I felt a bit ashamed that I am relying on others so much.  I've always been pretty independent.  But I've found myself relying on others so much here.  And the park moms make it so easy.  They have created such a wonderful supportive group that it is easy to quickly learn to rely on them. 

Is it wrong to rely on others so much?  I am feeling more free and relaxed than I have for years, as much of my self-inflicted task list has narrowed to simply focusing on my son and finding joy in daily life.  Maybe I needed to give up some of the responsibility in order to focus on what truly matters.

But are things too easy?  I am learning some Japanese, but not enough to be self reliant.  I am learning how to get things done, but often it is through the help of others.  I am choosing not to participate in some things based on my son's need to play with children his age and not explore as much as I would prefer.  It is like a crazy dance I perform on a daily basis.

Am I learning to relax a bit while spending my days in a park?  Could I really be finding balance in one of the craziest cities in the world?  So many questions.  Only time will tell as I fully grasp that this is my life and I can live it any way I choose.

Origami that was gifted to my son