Not Sleeping in Our Apartment

This apartment is like none other that I have ever lived in.  My last (and only other) apartment in Japan was old and not well maintained to say the least.  I loved it for what it was - my first place after college and my first place in Japan.  It holds many special memories for me.  This apartment is fancy.  We picked it based on photos sent by my husband's new employer.  They set us up with temporary housing while our stuff is being shipped from the US to Tokyo, which takes approximately 2 months.  It is really nice for a variety of reasons, but mostly because we have some time to find our own place instead of just guessing about neighborhood and actual feel of our home.

The "service apartment" is on the 11th floor, which gives us a nice view of lots of other buildings and little bits of green letting us know downtown Tokyo has trees.  The view is, well, it's growing on me because it certainly isn't my garden.  The apartment consists of a living room, dining room, the biggest kitchen I think I've ever seen in Japan, two bedrooms and 1.5 bathrooms.  Size wise, it is bigger than some apartments I lived in in Seattle.  The master has a king sized bed (That is ROCK HARD!  What is it with Japanese people that have beds?  They don't have to be as hard as the floor!) and the spare has 2 twins.  The kitchen has an oven and a dishwasher, both are quite rare in Japanese homes.  There is lots and lots of built in closets, which I love.  I made one into a pantry of all the food I brought from the states.  By the way, if you come to visit me - please bring food.  I'm serious.  American staples are SO expensive here!  $6-$15 for a package of spaghetti noodles?!?  I digress.

So, what is my favorite part of the apartment - the bathroom, of course!  Japanese bathrooms don't have toilets.  That would be disgusting.  There are toilet rooms and bathrooms.  Our apartment is typically Japanese in this setup as well.  So, the bathroom consists of a shower in the middle of the room because there is a drain in the center of the room, and the deepest, most wonderful tub.  I can sit up in the darn thing and the water goes almost to my armpits!  It is so relaxing to soak in the tub.  So, why the  shower in the middle of the bathroom?  Japanese custom requires you to shower before you get in the tub.  Tubs are for soaking, not for cleaning.  This philosophy suits me just fine!  But what exactly puts this bathroom over the top?  It is the dryer functions!  Yep, this room can be set to dry itself or any hanging laundry you deem needing to be dried.  Oh, how I love the technology of this room.  Usually I could care less about technology, but this is genius and right up my alley!!!

Overall the apartment is great.  However, there's a couple weird things that will take getting used to:

• Housekeeping 2x per week.  Doesn't sound bad until you realize they go through your garbage to make sure it is separated correctly.  Weirds me out on multiple levels.
• Light switches everywhere, but only one per light and not all in one location.  You have to run all over to turn off lights.  For example, the master toilet room has 4 light switches in 3 locations.
• Automatic flushing toilets.  Another thing that doesn't seem bad until you think of how long it is going to take me to break my son of the habit of leaving his poo unflushed. 

We're getting settled.  The bags are unpacked and we're getting used to the new layout.  We've cooked a couple meals and I did the first load of laundry.  But the one thing we aren't doing is sleeping!  Jet lag has taken full hold of our son, and the transition is tough.  Waking up at 3 am each morning, no matter how much we make him stay up the night before, is no laughing matter.  Luckily for me, my husband gets up with him and lets me stay in bed until a blissful 4:30 or 5:00.  Today my son had a couple melt downs - one at a park and we headed home for naps at 9 am.  The other was on the subway when he wailed "I'm tired, why won't you let me sleep?" and continued to whimper for quite a while as people stared at us.  I consider myself to be a pretty strong and patient person, but lack of sleep doesn't go hand in hand with maintaining a positive attitude.  He's currently fast asleep.  Here's hoping he stays that way for a good long night's sleep.

Shinkansen Excursion

Yesterday we tried to register with the city.  They told us my husband needed specific documents from his hometown.  We could have requested the documents, waited a week, and then completed our tasks, but we prefer to just get things done.  So, early this morning (we are smack in the midst of jet lag and wake up around 3 or 4 am), we headed to Osaka to get the documents ourselves.

My four year old was so excited to ride the Shinkansen.  He is obsessed with modes of transportation, like many kids his age, and the bullet train is at the top of his list.  After playing with the trains, wearing the socks, and even using his Shinkansen sticker book, he was ecstatic to actually ride the bullet train.  As we traveled from Tokyo to Osaka, we even got a glimpse of Mt. Fuji!

It was fun to ride the Shinkansen to visit my husband's home town.  As we pulled up to Osaka, we both commented on how much we felt like we were coming home, to a place we were both so comfortable.  When I lived in Japan 15 years ago, it was in Osaka.  I never really felt "one with the people," but I could get around and life was familiar to me.  Tokyo is still mind boggling and discombobulating.

The excitement of the day created a very wiggly kid, so while my husband went to city hall to get the right documents, I took our son to the park.  Parks in Japan, in my experience, are pretty different than those back in the states.  I have never seen grassy fields or super fancy play structures.  They tend to be pretty simple, on dirt patches, and mostly made of metal.  Since today was pretty hot, the play structure was incredibly hot to the touch.  But that didn't deter him!  He desperately wanted me to play with him, but I was too busy being eaten alive by mosquitos.  I must have killed 15 of them on my legs and arms!  Ugh!

After playing for a while, my husband returned and we made a mad dash to the drug store to pick up some anti-itch ointment.  Otherwise, the day was going to go south very fast!  Relief was found and we headed to lunch.  My husband loves good food and he's very specific about what he feels is good food.  Luckily, I agree with his taste.  We decided to go to an old family favorite: Houzenji, a kushiage restaurant.  Kushiage is essentially deep fried food on a stick - specifically, battered meat and veggies.  My husband has been going to this restaurant since he was a young child and we've gone there every time we have been back to visit (usually on the last or next to last day of our trip).  A few years ago, my husband's parents passed away and we haven't been back since.  But as we walked through the door, the owner's face lit up and he was greeted enthusiastically.  My husband smiled widely and they chatted like no time had passed.  We ordered the set menu and dug into the delicious food.  A couple favorites include the corn, quail eggs, and asparagus.  My son wanted to know more about how the food was being prepared and stood on his chair to watch, which pleased all of the staff.

 

After lunch, we visited my husband's parent's (and other family member's) gravesite - a stone monument that holds the ashes of everyone in the family that have passed.  This sign of respect is very important in Japanese culture and to us.  We cleaned the stone, brought new flowers, and paid our respects.  After saying short prayers in their honor, my son said he felt like he received a hug from his grandparents.

After paying our respects, we were ready to head back to the apartment (which my son has pointed out I need to start calling home...), so we went to the train station to change our tickets to an earlier time.  Normally, we would have stayed longer but we're all struggling with jet lag right now and don't have tons of energy.  While moving from one train system to the next, the crowds were getting thick and my son told me he felt overwhelmed.  So I picked him up and carried him through most of the station.  By the time we found our seats on the Shinkansen, I was exhausted.  While on the train, instead of resting, I got caught up on emails and Facebook, then watched the passing scenery.  There are some very beautiful parts of Japan.  I don't usually find them in the city, but looking out the window at the countryside makes me smile.  Today, I suddenly became weepy at the sight of green fields and agriculture.  I already miss my garden so much.  Digging in the dirt brings me a sense of peace and growing things delights me like nothing else.  Seeing those beautiful fields tore at my heart a little bit.  I hope I can find a little patch of earth very soon - maybe even planting a few winter vegetables.

Back in Tokyo, we were off on our timing a bit because of coming back early.  We hit just a hint of Tokyo subway traffic.  It was scary and overwhelming with a child (whereas before it was just annoying).  My son told me he felt freaked out and I was terrified I was going to loose him.  So, once again, my husband and I took turns carrying him.  Maybe it was my exhaustion from the day, but the crowds really freaked me out too.  As quickly as it started, the crowds dissipated and we relaxed once again.  We'll have to be more mindful in the future when it comes to avoiding rush hour traffic!

Once we returned to the apartment, we reminisced about our Shinkansen adventure.  My son played with his new bullet train toys and we ate a simple dinner of salad and bread (because we were still full from our delicious lunch!).  Hopefully tonight, we will be blessed with long sleep (past 4 am) and dreams of more fun rides on the Shinkansen.

Smooth Sailing

We've taken a few trips as a family.  Every time I'm amazed at what a great traveler my son is.  At 4 years old, he maintains a positive attitude, is cooperative, and goes with the flow.  Would this time be the same?  We've been under so much stress as we prepare for the move.  Although I've been dedicated to making and keeping play dates to deflect some of the stress, it still trickles in.  He understands he is leaving the only home he knows.  He is deeply saddened by moving away from his friends, even though he says to them "don't be sad.  We have Skype!"  He frets about how much he misses his chickens, ducks, and bunny (and so do I).  So, I was half expecting a melt down.

As a mom, I try to be as prepared as possible.  We have talked a lot about what to expect, reading lots of books about moving and airports.  I've packed a little roller bag with lots of new toys, books, and snacks - several items from friends, too.  I didn't want to be so focused on the mission that he felt over looked. 

Of course, my husband and I did have our own agenda, too.  This would be the first time we were flying first class - and boy were we excited!  We wanted to enjoy the experience to the fullest. 

We had a busy morning the day we left.  We got up, showered and started the very last load of laundry we would do in our beloved house.  My husband found one of our old chickens in the yard, so we all said goodbye to her one last time before taking her back to her new home a couple doors down.  We packed up the last couple of things and headed to our neighbors for a delicious breakfast.  Once we were full, we went back home to load up the van and spent some time with other friends.  That last hour flew by as we wrapped everything up and said goodbye.  Before we knew it, the neighbors were back to drive us to the airport.  The drive was surreal.  Was this really happening?  This wasn't just some crazy dream?  A quick 10 minutes, and there we were, with all our suitcases on the curb at the airport.  Hugs were quick and meaningful (man, we're going to miss our friends!).  We smiled and said "Adventure awaits!"

After checking in, we went through security and headed to the first class lounge.  I didn't know what to expect.  It was a room filled with comfy chairs, lots of people, and tons of snacks.  My son and I found a seat and my husband hit the snack bar.  We dined on veggies with hummus, Milano cookies, an orange, and some caramel popcorn.  It was a nice little treat.

The boarding announcement came soon and we headed to the plane.  My son looked so sweet as he hauled his carry-on bag and his ukulele down the passenger boarding bridge. 

We found our seats (or should I call them luxury traveling pods?) and quickly settled in.  I dug into the complementary toiletry bag with hand cream, facial mist, chapstick, toothbrush with paste, ear plugs, and eye mask.  My son wanted to read a book from his bag.  My husband and I nabbed glasses of sparkling wine.  The seats were comfortable, but the best part was the leg rest and being able to fully recline.  This is the life!

After take off, the food began to arrive.  We all picked the Japanese menu, not the Western menu, because we were flying on a Japanese airline.  I was amazed at the quality and the quantity!  My son picked at his food, surprising the flight attendants with his chopstick skills. 

I could tell my son was getting tired, but was too ramped up for sleep.  I pulled out his special car blanket and a favorite toy he often sleeps with.  He quickly snuggled with them and we turned his seat into the bed.  Tossing and turning ensued.  There was just too much going on.  We decided to let him watch a movie, hoping he'd quickly fall asleep.  We were wrong.  Before long, he was shouting "Go, go, go!  You can do it!" to Lightening McQueen in Cars.  I reminded him we needed to use quiet voices and he smiled sheepishly at me.  He still didn't fall asleep!  After a bit, he decided he needed to cuddle and snuggled with daddy.  Then he was out... for about an hour or so.

The rest of the flight was pretty "normal."  We experienced very little turbulence - thank goodness!  I watched a couple movies, pausing frequently to answer my little guy's questions, or to entertain him for a bit.  I pocketed the little bottle of Bailey's I was offered (What?!?).  We dug into some surprise presents that helped distract and entertain (by the way, Etch-a-sketch is a HUGE hit with 4 year olds).  I noticed that the flight attendants stopped by quite a bit, giving my son lots of attention.  I thought "wow!  This is service!"  Then later on, they told my husband they thought our son was so cute they kept coming up with reasons to stop by and spend time with him.  (Mom bragging right here!)

We gave him tons to drink, and sugar to suck on as we descended.  Then, just like that, we arrived.  We're in Japan.  Seriously.  This is actually happening.  The last two months of planning, purging, packing, saying goodbyes, and all the insanity have resulted in this - our arrival.  My son has been a trouper throughout the whole process, flight included.  And now I have to explain to him that traveling to Japan doesn't always mean a first-class flight. 

The Great Hanko Debacle

A hanko is name stamp in Japan.  It is a little round stamp about 3 inches long.  Although little, it is very important as  it is your legal signature.  Each one is hand carved and one of a kind.  You register it with the government and it is used whenever you do anything official.  You need it to open a bank account, update your address with the city, and more.  It is something you never want to loose.  Ever.

Several weeks ago, my husband showed me his pencil case that holds his hanko and asked me where he should put it in order to make sure it goes to Japan.  I rolled my eyes and told him "put it in the Japan closet!"  I was busy and preoccupied at the moment, not really paying attention.  While preparing to move, I was putting everything we were taking with us in one closet to be as organized as possible.  The items in the closet would be shipped to Japan via boat and take approximately two months to arrive.  As the date rolled closer, I pulled out a suitcase and that's where I put everything that we would personally take to Japan (on the airplane).  These locals gave me a sense of organization and is how I usually proceed with a big project.

Last Thursday, the movers came.  I was a bit stressed and overwhelmed as it was also the day a friend was coming to do some landscaping and my husband was returning home from a business trip.  It reminded me of when I used to coordinate events, with all the moving pieces culminating in this one big day.  The movers arrived bright and early and got right to work.  I handed my son the iPad and let him watch several episodes of PBSkids (a very rare treat) and I focused on making sure everything was running according to plan.  At some point my husband called and checked to make sure I wasn't letting the movers pack our passports and "other important stuff."  I replied "I've got it under control.  The passport and our important papers files are in the suitcase, which we are taking to Japan.  No worries."  The day continued and ran pretty seamlessly.

Thursday evening my husband came home.  Friday, we all got haircuts and then sold our car.  Friday night, we were putting things in storage and organizing our suitcases that we would take to Japan when my husband suddenly stopped.  "Where is my hanko?" he asked.  It felt like time suddenly stopped.  The hanko was in his pencil pouch... that was in the closet... that the movers packed... and was now headed on the slow boat to Japan.  No! No! No!  This couldn't be happening.  I was amazed at his calmness.  He started looking for phone numbers and I started making calls.  We sent emails.  We exhausted every avenue we could think of.  But it was 9:00 pm on a Friday night!  There wasn't much we could do.  So, we went to bed, hugging each other and trying to convince one another that it would be okay - even though we both thought we were totally screwed.

Saturday morning came.  We were leaving in just over 24 hours.  We didn't say a lot.  Neither of us were mad, just shocked and frustrated at the situation and miscommunication.  I crept into the living room and tried calling the same numbers.  He went outside and burned papers to make more room in the recycle bin.  At 8:00 am, I left for the dump.  I was practically in tears from the stress.  What were we going to do?  As I sat in line for the dump, my phone rang with an unknown number.  I quickly answered and an angel, yes an angel, said "Megan, I heard the stress in your voice and decided I needed to call you first.  This happens and everything is going to be okay."  She went on to tell me that our stuff was still in the warehouse in Bellevue and was not in the boat.  After she hung up with me, she started searching for someone locally who could help us.  I called my husband and shouted the good news!  We were going to get his hanko back and be able to take it to Japan ourselves.

This angel called back about an hour later, notifying me that we could go to the warehouse and dig through our boxes at 1:00.  But wait, we didn't have a car!  Luckily, we have awesome friends that also came to our rescue.  They picked us up and drove us to the warehouse.  Based on the packing list, I had chosen three boxes the pencil case could have been packed in.  It wasn't in those boxes, but it was in the forth box we opened.  Ah, the relief!!! 

Now we can go to Japan.  We have everything - tickets, passports, hanko, each other.  We are ready. 

Preparing for the move

My house is almost empty.  The furniture is mostly gone.  The shelves have been emptied and are not where they belong.  The dining room table has found a new home.  Even my chickens have flown the coop.  It's weird because I never thought I would see my home so bare.  But it is part of the plan.

Several months ago my husband asked what I thought if he pursued a job in Japan.  I said "Go for it!  I support you!"  Then came the day that he walked out of the office and said "We're moving to Japan."  And I immediately thought "Oh, shit..."

Moving internationally is a mixed bag of emotions and intensity.  I swing from wahoo to terrified in an instant.  I'm excited to go, but I'm filled with dread about leaving friends and family.  Getting rid of the stuff hasn't been too challenging for me.  Things are things.  But the people... that has hurt so much.  It is scary not knowing when I will see my circle of friends again.  The most heart wrenching thing to watch is my son saying goodbye to his friends.  The only comfort is knowing that we have so many ways to stay connected.

For the past 4 years, we have been the proud owners of a flock of chickens (which soon grew to include ducks and even a rabbit).  Oh, how we are going to miss these pets.  When it came time to say goodbye to our last 4 chickens, my son and I sat on the steps and had a good cry.

No matter how hard the "see you later"s have been, I have persisted.  Focusing on what I can do - purging, organizing, and packing.  There seems to be an endless task list. 

My husband has been working in California for weeks, only coming home on the weekends.  This has been very tough for both my son and me.  We miss him desperately.  So, one thing we are looking forward to with the move is being together all the time. 

Luckily, my husband's new employer has a relocation team that are supporting our move.  They help with all the details - visas, movers, housing.  Of course, they don't help with everything.  It is my responsibility to rent out our house; decide what to take and what to leave behind; and either sell or donate everything we aren't taking.  Slowly, but surely, I'm getting it all done.

Even though our home is almost empty, we are making a list of fun things we will do together in Japan.  We are supporting each other through these hard transitions and rough moments.  And we are looking forward to the adventure ahead.  We just have to get on the plane first!