A different kind of tea

I can't believe winter break is almost over. It is a special time for our family. School is closed, but also my husband has time off of work. I am always so happy to have copious quantities of time with my boys. We have had fun over the past two weeks. Our son had about 20 minutes of homework to complete each day and several ballet classes to attend, but otherwise we were able to spend time together.

While we were all sad to not go to the Kansai region to visit some of our favorite places in Osaka, Nara, and Kyoto, we were still happy to have some time together. We spent a lot of time at home - watching movies, playing games, and our son even sewed his first bag and started his first cross stitch. We also got out a bit as well. We visited Tanashi Jinja (dragon shrine), among others, as part of our New Year celebrations.

Just as the break is coming to an end, we have news that Tokyo and a few other prefectures will be reentering a state of emergency due to the number of severe Covid cases. This will be much more relaxed than the state of emergency from earlier in the pandemic. For example, schools will not be closing this time. It has everyone, including us, reassessing their precautions and comfort levels.

It leaves me feeling sad and disappointed, inflaming the longing in my heart to be with friends and family that I haven’t seen in over a year.

I'm also feeling gratitude toward my husband for the mental break he provided earlier this week. On Monday evening, while watching TV, he looked at me and said “do you want to go to tea tomorrow in Ikebukuro? I can make a reservation for 2 pm.” I gave him a confused look and questioned what he meant, needing more information. After all, tea is everywhere in Japan. Why would we bike an hour each direction just for tea? He then clarified it was high tea, as in British high tea. Well... THAT I would bike over an hour for!

Tucked beneath the streets of Ikebukuro, just a short distance from my favorite bookstore, is Racines Bistro. This little hidden gem is a bakery and bistro serves a Japanese version of British high tea. It is one of those things that you just have to know about, as it isn’t even on the menu (it is on their website, though). It is served at 2 pm and reservations are required.

We arrived right on time and were seated in the corner of the modern style dining room. Since it is a set menu, there isn’t any ordering required. Just sit back and wait for everything to arrive.

Instead of perusing a large list of teas and choosing one, we were told we would be enjoying a flight of teas - seven in total. Without meaning to, I let out a little laugh and said “this might be an interesting bike ride home after seven cups of tea!”

When they brought out our three tiers of scrumptious treats, my eyes lit up with excitement. Everything had fresh strawberries on it! January is peak strawberry season in Japan (they are grown in greenhouses) and the bistro offers a special seasonal tea featuring the bright red berries.

Realizing there were seven treats for each of us, we decided to pace ourselves over the next hour and a half, eating just one treat with each cup of tea that found its way into our cups. It was hard to not just dive in, but we all exhibited great self control.

As we relaxed and chatted, we enjoyed scones with honey, butter, and strawberry jam with earl grey tea. Time just stood still as we escaped into little courses of a savory bun with clotted cream and a strawberry along with white peach tea; financier cake with apple tea; croissant hearts and rose tea; cream puffs with chestnut tea; strawberry mousse paired with royal milk tea; and sandwich cookies with strawberry tea.

After we were done with everything, the waitress came and asked if we wanted another cup of tea - any of our choosing. My husband asked for another cup of the apple tea, while I had chestnut and our son requested strawberry. I couldn’t believe our son had not just made it through all the “courses,” but wanted more! He was only drinking half cups, but still...

At some point during our lovely tea experience, I said to my husband “it feels like it is my birthday!” It felt like that much of an escape from all the insanity in the world today. With the new State of Emergency being declared, we will be sticking even closer to home, so I am extra glad we were able to have the refreshment break.

Welcome 2021!

As we rung in the new year last night, I, like millions of other people, was happy to leave 2020 behind. It was a difficult year on so many levels. I look forward to releasing the stress and hardship of the past year and working toward a brighter tomorrow.

We traditionally spend New Year's Eve eating soba for lunch with friends and celebrating with a quiet evening at home. We always tune in to NHK for their New Year Eve special and eat nabe. This year we ate soba and nabe at home and still watched the televised entertainment.

As for New Year's Day, we normally eat our osechi and head out the door to visit a couple shrines. With Covid numbers in Tokyo at an all time high, we ate our osechi and chose to limit our shrine visits to just the small local shrine in our neighborhood.

We spent the rest of the day at home. We had a lovely outdoor chat with our neighbors and video chatted with a friend. We also let our son watch "Spirited Away" for the first time.

2021 is the year of the cow (or ox), an animal revered for its diligence and persistence. It is also thought of as grounded, loyal, gentle, and trustworthy. As an agricultural animal, it has a strong connection to the earth, creating both stability and nourishment. I am certain that we need these things worldwide as soon as possible.

Statues of cows can be found at many shrines throughout Japan. It is believed that cows possess wisdom, so many students go to shrines to rub the cow's forehead before exams.  (These shrines are labeled as Tenmangu.)

We look forward to going to more shrines over the course of the first month of 2021.  I appreciate the time to reflect on generating good fortune and looking forward instead of behind.

He was an honorable man

Christmas Day has come again. My third Christmas in Japan. It is still something I’m getting used to, as it is celebrated so differently here. Decorations have been up since the beginning of November. Music featuring Santa and being with loved ones plays in the background of every shop I have been in for 2 months. Lights adorn buildings and trees are on display in shops and plazas. And children wearing Santa outfits are a common sight. But when the actual day arrives, it seems like it is just another day. Most people enjoyed their KFC and Christmas cake on Christmas Eve. Today, they headed to work or school like it was any other day.

I have such fond memories of sitting in the living room in pajamas, opening presents and then getting to play with our new toys until relatives came over to our house or we headed to our grandparents house for our big holiday meal.

My son will remember opening one gift from Santa and then heading off to school.

Every year, I feel an underlying sadness as I try to balance the realities of his Christmas experience with the fantasies I had created when I imagined the memories we would create as the years went by.

This year, my heart is extra heavy as I cope with the sudden loss of my last grandparent. At 41, I am much older than most people are when their grandparents pass on. I know how lucky I am to have had him in my life for as long as I did. I am so grateful for all the years we had together.

At 96, he lived a long and interesting life.  He was born in Oregon and lived there his whole life.  He was in the navy in WWII and then worked as an engineer at a telecommunications company.  He got married and had 4 children, who later gave him 8 grandchildren.  After retirement, he traveled around the US with his wife in an RV, visiting friends and family throughout their travels.  He was an active member of his church.  He was a talented woodworker, building many things over the years, including the house my mom was raised in.

I have many fond memories of spending Christmas and other holidays at his house. My grandpa and grandma always had lovely gatherings of people either at their home or at the clubhouse in their neighborhood. They always hung a collection of felt ornaments on their tree that my grandpa made sure to mention my grandma had made herself. My grandpa tended to be quiet, but at these parties he’d talk endlessly. It was here that I learned that grandpa didn’t just dole out his antidotes, he enjoyed conversations, not lectures. As I aged, I learned to ask him questions to engage him in conversation. I respected his insight and loved hearing about his life experiences.

There were also times where I was a bit nervous to hear his thoughts on a topic. When I got engaged to my husband, I was scared to tell my grandfather. He was on the USS Nevada battleship on December 7, 1941, better known as the day Pearl Harbor was attacked. The ship beached that day, and my grandfather survived, but it was something that he did not talk about for most of my life. When I was in high school, my aunt finally got him talking about it. Although he had never said anything negative about Japanese people, I wasn't sure if he would he bless a marriage between myself and a Japanese man. I honestly didn’t know. So, I wrote him (and my grandmother) a letter, telling them of my plans. The next time I talked to them, he gave me heartfelt congratulations and I breathed a sigh of relief. 

Weeks later, my mom attended a ship reunion with my grandpa. While there, she overheard my grandfather tell another soldier “who would have guessed that 60 years after Pearl Harbor, I would be welcoming a Japanese man into our family? But I am. And I think it is great.” I didn’t know what his reaction would be and was too nervous to ask, assuming that he’d have a hard time with it. I should have just given him the benefit of the doubt. 

From the first moment he met my husband, the two of them shared a special relationship. We would spend weekends with my grandparents at their house a couple times a year. The weekend would be spent playing games and chatting. We would talk about anything and everything. I loved hearing about my grandfather growing up in Oregon, his romance with my grandma, and tales of parenting my mom as a young child. Sometimes I would take my grandma to do errands, and my husband would always stay behind to keep grandpa company. 

One night, after dinner, my husband said to my grandfather “I know what I’ve been taught about Pearl Harbor, but can you tell me about your experience?” My grandma and I looked at each other and held our breath. But grandpa just started talking. Before we knew it, the guys were in grandpa’s office for a couple hours as grandpa talked and showed things to my husband. It was an amazing dialogue that took place that night.

I will miss hearing his stories. In his later years, he suffered from Alzheimer’s and often told the same story over and over, but I didn’t care. I liked listening to them, especially the ones about the early years of his marriage to my grandma. I could listen to stories about camping in the back of pickup trucks and going on dates and building their family home on repeat. I even enjoyed hearing about his work on battleships in the Navy, on the railroad after returning from war, and later at Pacific Northwest Bell (the telecommunications company).

Losing a loved one is never easy, especially when you are living abroad, away from most of your loved ones. It can be very isolating as you struggle to cope with the pain, sorrow, and grief. I cannot go to his house and touch his things and reminisce and hug other people who loved him too. Instead, I am left with the memories of time spent together - cutting back the wisteria on the front of his house, cooking in his kitchen as we nursed my grandma back to health, and watching him shoot the breeze with friends and family at holiday gatherings.

This Christmas is especially weird for most people around the world, with families not able to gather. But there are still ways to connect without visits. A phone call or a letter can convey a message of love. You never know just how much that message means, until you aren’t able to share it anymore.

Shop til you drop

We have been without a shopping center since July. While we still had several local grocery stores to choose from, it was still an inconvenience to be without an easily accessible array of shops. I have had to travel further to purchase things, like replacing the bowls that I broke and new clothes for my son because he refuses to stop growing. The store I missed the most was the import store, which carries many food items that are hard to find other places.

After months of waiting, lots of peeking and wondering, as well as heaps of anticipation, the Hikarigaoka IMA shopping center reopened. My husband was gifted preview tickets by a friend, giving us early access to the 4 floors of refurbished real estate. I was very grateful for this special experience, otherwise I would have waited an entire week after opening to go because, although I was super excited for the shopping center to open, I wasn’t going to deal with the crowds.

With the preview tickets, only 200 people were allowed into the building every 30 minutes. To our delight, we were in the very first group, meaning there was hardly anyone in the building (after we waited in a short line to get inside)! 

We immediately headed for the basement, where food stalls live. Some shops had left, others moved, and there were several new places for us to try below ground. As we wandered up and down the aisles, we took note of the many changes. Our first stop was at the chicken counter to order a whole chicken for Christmas dinner. I typically roast a whole chicken for holidays here, but since they are rarely found in regular grocery stores, we just had chicken thighs at Thanksgiving.

We were excited to learn that not only did my much relied upon import store move to a bigger space, a second import store moved into the basement as well. In Seattle, we know Kinokuniya as a bookstore, but here it is an import store offering all kinds of special treats for foreigners and locals alike.

Upstairs we found a variety of both old and new. There were new clothing and housewares shops. We were pleased to find our much appreciated family owned stationary store and my favorite dish shop. My husband was most excited to see the entire 4th floor was redone to house a food court - something much needed in his opinion.

There are several new restaurants as well, which I think we desperately needed. I’m excited to try them out. All in good time.

There are still several areas that have not opened up yet. So, we still have lots to look forward to, including a Starbucks! While I may only drink 10 or so Starbucks beverages a year, it is a place of comfort for me. It always has been. When I lived in Osaka many, many years ago, I would travel almost an hour each way to sit in a Starbucks and have a mental break from the exhaustion of living abroad. It was my escape. But I’ve never had one close to me here (whereas in Seattle, I don’t think I’ve ever lived less than half a mile from one). I hope it will have comfy chairs that I can read in while sipping my beverage of choice.

Since it has reopened, it has been so nice knowing that most of what I need is ready for me over at IMA. I don’t have to bike 20 minutes or longer to go to a big shopping center. Now, if only we could get a bookstore that sold English books in the neighborhood... I’d be set.

Don’t hurt your back

As I sit down to write my blog each week, I assess what was exciting, entertaining, or interesting during the past week. Over the course of this past year, I have relied on weekend entertainment, as weekdays consist mainly of cooking, cleaning, and watching Netflix. I am trying to stick close to home, which means there is a lot of redundancy in my life right now.

Three mornings a week, I have regularly scheduled phone dates with loved ones. I am meeting a girlfriend in the park once a week to exchange language lessons - half an hour dedicated to her English writing skills and half an hour dedicated to teaching me important kanji (which has been SO HELPFUL). Otherwise, I’m left to my own devices to find something to do.

The weekends bring a wealth of possibilities. Not because we are traveling places, but because my family is together and we have time to do whatever we want. We have always been the people with lots on our schedule. We like to explore and do interesting things. My husband is great at researching things to do. He looks at community bulletin boards, local newspapers, and websites to find out what is going on in the area. If something sounds interesting, he puts it in our calendar. It is as easy as that. If there are multiple things listed on that day, we can choose from those activities. We don’t have to do anything if we don’t feel like it, but it is nice to have options.

Sometimes this means we do “weird” things. I have reported on many of these random activities on this blog. But it is always in the spirit of having fun together. I often wonder what my son will say about his upbringing as an adult... hopefully something like “We used to do the weirdest things, but it was always fun!”

This past weekend, we participated in a Nerima tradition - a daikon pulling contest. All the daikon harvesting over the last month or so has helped us learn techniques in pulling this long radish. Don’t wiggle it too much, or you can break it. Hold it close to the ground, not up by the greens. Pull straight up. Use your legs, not your back.

We were out of the house by 8 am to bike over to the farm in Oizumi (about a 45 minute ride from our house) where the race was being held. We made sure to have all our paperwork, as this is a very popular contest that requires pre-registration. I heard it “sells out” on the first day every year.

I was impressed with the set up of tents, registration tables, and even portable toilets for the event. But after 14 years, the organizers really know what they are doing. Due to COVID, our temperatures were taken as we entered the field. Then we walked up to the registration table. After giving them our paperwork, we were handed a bib with a number, different paperwork, and a bag (which was a gift).

A small section of the field was roped off for kids to practice pulling daikon. We let our son try by himself, but it’s still pretty challenging. Nerima daikon (the variety we were pulling that day) can be over 1 meter long (3.3 feet). He’s not too much taller than that! It was a good activity for him, since many of the daikon from that day were being donated to the elementary schools for their lunches on Monday.

After he was done practicing, we stood around and waited for the event to begin. The Mayor of Nerima gave a short speech and then someone else walked the audience through a series of warm up exercises. While doing the stretches, I suddenly had a flashback to an episode of 20/20 from when I was a teenager (25+ years ago) where they were discussing Japanese company employees doing stretching exercises every day. These are known as taiso (tie-so) and are still popular today. School children do the routine daily. Anytime the taiso music is played, Japanese people automatically start doing the short routine as a Pavlovian response. But this one was a bit different, special for stretching backs and legs so no one would get injured while pulling.

It was time for everyone to line up based on their bib numbers. We were registered for the size contest, not the speed. A staff member instructed us to pull up to 10 daikon within a certain area (we could pick which ones) in 2 minutes. We let our son pick them and give them a little wiggle, then either my husband or I pulled it in quick succession.

After pulling our 10, we found the longest one and the heaviest, and took those to the recording table. Our longest daikon was 78 cm (31 inches) long. And the heaviest one was 4.1 kg (9 lbs). Neither of these broke any records, but it was fun participating regardless.

In another area, there was the speed race - how many daikon can a single person pull within a certain amount of time. Some of those people were so fast! Most were just having fun. Regardless, it was fun to watch.

As we departed, we handed in our bibs and they gave us 4 daikon as a parting gift. Although I have been getting really good at cooking dishes featuring daikon, we re-gifted 3 of the huge radishes to friends.

It was definitely a unique experience to participate in a daikon pulling contest. But it was also a lot of fun.


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Another daikon recipe my family really enjoyed...

Simmered Daikon with Pork

Ingredients
1/2 daikon, peeled and cut into large chunks (2 inch wedges)
100g (1/4lb) thinly sliced pork
3 tbsp soy sauce
4 tbsp sake
1 tbsp oil
3-5 green onions, cut into 2 inch lengths
1 knob ginger
1 tbsp mirin

Directions

1. Soak the pork in soy sauce and sake for 10 minutes. (I usually do this while I am preparing the vegetables.)
2. Heat a large skillet to medium, with the oil in the pan. Cook the meat until browned.
3. Add the green onion and ginger. Cook for 1 minute.
4. Add the daikon. Cover and simmer until the radish is transparent and can be easily pierced with a fork.
5. Toss in the leftover marinade and simmer over medium heat.
6. Sprinkle with mirin, coating the daikon and meat.
7. Serve.